Sometimes our biggest lessons don't come from achieving a goal, but in seeing all the ways God turns our 'failures' into something better. 

The following comes from one of our facilitators after the last day of my recent Mindset Mastery cohort, which she joined for a refresher. She had signed up for the class with a very specific desire: to finally purchase the home her family had been living in and working toward for years.

The home and location felt perfect. The goal felt right. And the opportunity to join Founder’s Odyssey seemed divinely timed, because the Mindset Mastery segment would end right around the same time they expected to be signing the final contract on a rent-to-own miracle they had stepped into two years earlier. After all that time living in the home, loving it, and working toward the purchase, they were finally approaching the point when it was time to qualify for the mortgage and make it officially theirs.

But as you’ll read, God had something else in mind.

She wanted to buy the house. She knew she would succeed as long as she finished all the Mindset Mastery homework assignments, but there was a twist.

Her story is a tender witness of what happens when we do the work, hold the vision, feel the disappointment, and then watch how the best possible outcomes unfold in ways we did not expect.

It's about surrender, family, divine redirection, and the quiet realization that even when a goal is not realized the way we planned, nothing faithful is wasted.

Here is her story, in her own words.

Until a few days ago, I had not planned to write anything about my own takeaways from class, because I only attended a few class meetings in the beginning. What would I have to offer if I hadn’t really “participated”? But then I realized that there were things I not only could, but should share. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve experienced guided Mindset Mastery as either a participant in someone else’s class or as the facilitator of it. I’ve easily read the hardcover book of the course, start to finish, a minimum of three times. What I learned just this past week or so is that while I did not physically attend the classes, the work contained within has become a part of me. It has shaped me into who I have become. I realized I no longer have to consciously “do” many of the principles, because they’ve become part of how I naturally think, pray, and respond to life.

There are two key takeaways I’ve experienced from this class, but first I want to share how excited I was about the timing of the class’s beginning and ending. A goal we—my whole family—have been working on had a completion date of June 30th. It was a contract we were in for the home we live in, and it ends on June 30th, with a contracted bank purchase from the owners as of this summer. I fully believed that the timing of the class was heaven-sent, and that by being super intentional through each step, along with the community support in class itself, achieving this long-awaited goal was certain.

But then… life.

Looking back, the day that Laura and I were assigned to lead is the only day I would have been able to do that. Funny how that “arbitrary” date was assigned to us by Leslie and Dawn. Between work responsibilities, my daughter being transferred from serving at home as a service missionary into the teaching program, and very little prep time—we were given eight days’ notice to have her packed and ready to leave—plus two foot surgeries during the course of this class, just having the hour to attend class itself was out of reach, let alone the time to complete assignments in between classes.

I thought it was all a failure.

For weeks this was a source of discouragement and personal shame for me. I felt I had just made too many excuses, and had I just been better and more diligent with my time, I wouldn’t have “failed” another guided Mindset Mastery. See, the goal I intended to achieve with this class—purchasing the home we live in—isn’t going to happen. We are not quite in a place to qualify for a bank loan, and the homeowners need the home sold this summer. To say this crushed me would be an understatement, and I definitely had my tantrum over it. I was certain my own weaknesses had caused another loss in my life.

But instead of staying there, I chose to turn to God and ask a hard question. A question I was fearful of knowing the answer to, but willing to hear anyway: Did my fears override all the work I’ve done to mentally and physically prepare for this home purchase, and cause the exact outcome I feared would happen?

When I received the answer to that question, it was unmistakable and left me in tears: No, my moments of fear did not negate all the work I’ve done for years. I felt the Spirit assure me that the opposite was true: Had I attended all the classes and been fully engaged in all the writing assignments, I would have received what I was seeking, but that would have excluded me from where God needs me to be. Who He needs me to be.

In focusing solely on the goal of buying the house, I had lost sight of the true desires of my heart—why we wanted to stay here and live in this home. It was about safety, security, community, growth, and a dozen other desires for myself and my family. I had become so fixated that this was the answer—because it was the answer for the last two years—that I was not open to even the possibility of finding that somewhere else.

I had unknowingly attached peace and safety to a specific address, instead of to God’s ability to provide them. So God divinely distracted me, and with the little time I’ve had available over the last few months, I’ve done the only thing I did have time to do: just focus on the feelings and experiences I was seeking for my family.

What God taught me was two-fold. First, had I attended every class, I believe I would have achieved the purchase of this home. I would have been laser-focused on the words, images, and everything related to this home and this community. Because I was unable to attend more than a few classes early on, and all the tasks in my world kept me busy, all I could do was remain hyper-focused on the reasons for the goal. I wasn’t open to anything else except this home. Not moving. Stability. Anything that kept me from experiencing what I felt would be another loss.

My time recently didn’t allow for much goal writing, but I’ve already written so much about my desires that it’s like the groundwork was laid. So when all I had time to “do” was focus on what the goal meant for my family, and the feelings related to that, God was better able to do His work with me. Basically, He moved me out of His way.

Every morning, before I got out of bed, I envisioned all the feelings of what staying here represented, because that’s all I really had to give to the goal.

When we were given a definitive answer about not qualifying for a loan, my sweet husband Matt let me cry and tantrum and grieve when, after all we had done, we still were just short of what was needed. After a few hours of that, when I was emotionally spent, I heard the Spirit direct me to ask Matt what he was thinking. For the first time since we’ve been married, Matt was fully honest with me about his desires—some of which were different from my own. He opened up about several things he had been reluctant to share with me, because his deepest desire is really about me and my happiness. In those moments of listening to him, I realized just how much I had allowed my focus to shift from my whys to the hows.

I surrendered, truly surrendered, to what was coming, and in that surrender I found peace. But within the peace, there were still some big hurdles I was going to have to face: telling my daughter who is serving a mission, telling my 10-year-old who loves it here more than anything, and talking to our landlords, who have gone above and beyond to help us live here when they really wanted to sell it two years ago. Each one of those conversations went 100 times better than I could have imagined, and understanding was expressed to me by each of them. While there are still tears and grief that come with leaving here, we are all genuinely excited about where we are going—to somewhere outside of Cedar Rapids, where Matt is originally from before he moved here when we got married.

When Leslie and I talked last about identity, she told me something that stayed with me: this move could be my opportunity to truly live the new identity I’ve created. When I came here, I believed it was my fresh start to be someone new, but I had way too much to experience and heal first. Now I don’t feel like I need to create a new identity with this move. I can simply choose to honor the one I’ve already created, and build off that.

And then I started to see the tender mercies that had already been put in place. Earlier this year we had made the decision to homeschool Rylee next year. Because that decision was already made, it meant that even if we move, maintaining the same amount of time with her dad would still be possible. Julie, her grandma, was already planning on helping with the schooling because she is a retired teacher. So she and I will meet up in Des Moines, halfway for both of us, once a month, and pick up Rylee to stay with her for several days so Rylee can still have time with her dad. Visits are still supervised by Julie, and because of homeschooling, we can do this without her having absences.

My work right now is pretty decent paying, and it’s literally the best situation. I’m mostly remote, but I do go to the office in Omaha twice a week to pick up checks to make a deposit and pick up the mail or sales orders that need to be invoiced. A few weeks ago my boss told me they are planning on moving the warehouse to Kansas City, Missouri. He was a little hesitant to tell me, because he didn’t want me to freak out. It will mean we need to change some processes, but he intends to keep me on despite the move. Neither Matt nor I would have been willing to risk losing that income, but because Ken had already told me about the company’s move, it made it easy to tell him that we are moving also.

Another piece was the job opportunity that was suggested to Matt by his brother. It will likely be starting in September. Our original plan was for him to stay in Cedar Rapids during his work days and come home here on his days off, but as we were facing the reality that we won’t get the home loan, I also had to admit that I really didn’t want to live separated half the time from my husband. That opportunity, which had already been quietly sitting there, suddenly made more sense.

Even something as small as our pets carried its own tender mercy. My ex-husband had to put his cat to sleep a few days ago. We had gotten two kittens when we were together in Arizona, and he kept one of the cats when we divorced. I have the other sister, Gracie. But with him having to put Charlie down, I offered for him to have Gracie now. It sounds silly, but it was just another tender mercy for us, to be able to move with one less pet. And Gracie is super happy with all the attention she’s getting from him now.

Last, Rylee had been talking about how she wishes she could live close to cousins, but there aren’t any close by except for her cousin from Matt’s brother. They are in Cedar Rapids. I don’t know what made her start to feel that strong pull to living close to cousins, because it wasn’t a thing before, but when I talked to her about the move, one of the first things she got excited about was being close to Michael. They are the same age and get along really great whenever we visit. I really believe that God placed that desire on her heart, preparing her for what was coming. And Kaitlin having moved into teaching instead of service was another piece. We couldn’t even attempt to move if Kaitlin was still with us as a missionary.

I do not believe it is a coincidence that yesterday, on the last day of class, I had my second foot surgery. Before they took me back, I experienced exactly the intention I had envisioned: for my doctor to find the answer to the problems in a particular part of my foot that X-ray, MRI, and nerve testing didn’t explain. And he did. It caused my surgery to be slightly longer, and I had some unexpected additional bleeding and a longer incision, but my handy Google research into what he said he found, on top of the tarsal tunnel and plantar fascia release he was doing, explained every single symptom I’ve been struggling with for months that wasn’t related to the arthritis or the other two things today’s surgery was for.

He told Matt and me he was surprised to find it, but I had a venous malformation. I wasn’t familiar with it, but what I found in my own research helped me understand why it mattered. A venous malformation in the foot is a rare condition where veins formed abnormally before birth. Even though it is present from birth, symptoms may not appear until adulthood because the abnormal veins slowly stretch and enlarge over time as blood pools within them. Symptoms can suddenly worsen or become noticeable later in life because of injury, increased physical stress on the foot, hormonal changes, infections, or other changes that affect circulation and blood flow.

The symptoms can include aching, throbbing, or pressure-like pain; swelling that worsens with standing or activity; tenderness; and even small hardened “stones” called phleboliths, which form from tiny calcified blood clots caused by slow blood flow. When a venous malformation is located on the top or outer side of the foot, it can cause pain from pressure against shoes, burning or aching sensations, visible swelling, and discomfort that worsens after prolonged standing or walking. Although benign, the condition can become progressively more painful over time.

So, the releases were done, steroid was injected into the arthritic areas, and the one area I was still worried about—because there were no answers for it still—was fixed in surgery that day. I was beyond ecstatic.

I had prayed for weeks that whatever it was, when the other things we knew about were fixed, it would just resolve also. So to find the actual cause and fix it right there left me in tears driving home. Leslie’s cancer story was my inspiration—when she woke up from surgery and envisioned what she hoped the doctor would say. Honestly, I couldn’t formulate an actual sentence to envision, but I laid there in pre-op that morning and just visualized how amazing it would feel to know he had found the one unanswered question still, and the feelings of relief and hope for pain relief with the finding. I got that.

There was one more layer to this that felt especially tender. I have a major belief issue that developed over the last few years and going through six moves in five years. It says that as soon as I hang pictures and make my house into a home, something comes along and moves me out of that home. A month ago, I finally hung pictures in our house. We’ve been here 22 months now, and I finally made myself do it. Two weeks later, we realized we would need to move. I’ve tried not to “blame” the hanging of the pictures, and mostly I’ve succeeded, but there is still some lingering pain.

A few days ago, Matt told me that he doesn’t care how little time we have left here, he’s just so glad I hung the pictures, and he loves how it feels. I said, “Yeah, whatever.” He responded to my sarcasm by asking me seriously, “Why finish a temple if you’re just going to leave it behind?” For anyone who may not know some of the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, there was more than one temple built by the early members of the Church and left behind after completion. That question stopped me. It helped me see that making this house a home was not wasted just because we may not get to keep it. Maybe the pictures mattered. Maybe the love poured into a place still matters, even when we are asked to leave it behind.

So my first takeaway from this Mindset Mastery class is that with enough focused intention, especially after years of background work on a particular goal, applying the steps we do in Mindset Mastery will absolutely help us achieve that goal.

My second takeaway is that sometimes God needs to interrupt even our most intentional striving, so that we will get out of His way and let Him lead us to the true desires of our hearts, and not just a “goal.”

My workload has been lightened through the completion of dozens of tasks that have taken months to complete, and just this week, the means were provided for me to temporarily pause another area of business without any concerns. I am really excited for the upcoming class of Activating Unseen Help. Heaven knows I’m gonna need lots of unseen help to navigate the next few months.

– Bethany Harger

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Bethany will be there, and so many others who are learning, implementing, and sharing their experiences. It's a highlight of my week every Wednesday. Activating Unseen help is my next class inside the Founder’s Odyssey track, starting soon. If you’ve been feeling the nudge to learn how to see the hidden resources, get more inspired ideas, and experience timely support placed in your path, this is a beautiful time to step in. (I teach this class once every three years, and I'd love to see you there!)

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